Permission to do nothing and call it research
Chocolate cake on Tuesday… wine – and plenty of it – on Thursday. Am I good to you or what?
Playing Business Blog Scattergories a few months ago, I recommended the movie Bottle Shock for small businesses. It’s an improbable romp across every emotion known to the self-employed. Vital watching as, believe you me, you’ll relate in spades.
4 things to know:
- BYO grain of salt – you’ll have to suspend disbelief while they sell the idea that chardonnay turned the wine world on its head.
- Prepare to want, need and yeaaaarn for guacamole – this movie does for organic foodies what a porn commercial does to a lonely teenage boy. You’ll want and need it now.
- Understand that Napa Valley will top your must-visit list. Chardonnay snobbery aside, it’s just drop dead.
- It’s an Apollo 13 with wine – you know the ending will come good, you just have to wait for the cast to weather a few sleepless nights.
Rent it anyway.
For this winery, business is bad. Beat-up-your son-and-fire-your-only-competent-employee bad. The owner even puts his suit back on and heads back to corporate land to grovel for his old job, something this freelancer recognises as a worst-case scenario.
The protagonist enters a contest he hasn’t a chance of winning. His father, the owner, has already given up, knowing he shouldn’t have….and yet….AND YET!!! Of course they bloody win.
If it’s as hot in your city as it is in mine right now, this is a great summer movie to watch tonight – sprawled across the floor, face shoved in the closest fan. Do NOT forget the snacks. If you don’t start with a bucket of guacamole in front of you, well, don’t come crying to me.
So crash out and watch it. Wake up tomorrow, goofy grin plastered, and ask yourself what crazy venture you can tackle today – never expecting in a million years it will come good.
To draw on a recent Royal Caribbean commercial – ‘Why not?‘
Why not.
Friday business board games: play Scattergories with me?
Ever played Scattergories? It’s the game in the red box that makes you jump out of your skin when the timer goes off.
I firmly believe that Friday afternoon is for skiving off (that’s slacking off for the North Americans). So today, we play.
Before winning a Wii, Scattergories was one of my favourite games. Its appeal is that you can play it with any range of ages – quick-thinking, not experience, is the necessary advantage. My 10-year old cousin routinely ruins me. It’s great for practicing vocab in a new language, too.
Anyway! Lest you’re unfamiliar with it (or weren’t born in the 80’s), the game comes with a 20-sided die (all the alphabet letters except the impossible ones) and 12 different rounds of cards. Each round has 12 categories on it.
For example, round 1, you roll the die and receive, say, a letter A. After setting the timer (you get 2 minutes), you must think of a word or phase beginning with A for each category.
A boy’s name….
Things that are cold….
Brand names….
2 minutes sounds like a long time but, inevitably, on some rounds you’ll suck beyond all belief – willing your brain to give you something, anything!
If your answers are unique, you get 1 point. If you don’t get anything or match someone else’s answer… no points for you, sucker. As always, majority rules. If your friends veto your answer as too “creative”, you’re out of luck.
For the above example, the first words I thought of were:
Aloisuis, Arctic Circle, American Eagle.
In the spirit of T.G.I.F., I’m hosting a business blog round of Scattergories. If it’s popular I’ll make board games a regular Friday feature (so please participate because this is much more fun for me)!
The rules of this version:
- No cheating.
- There’s no timer. Take all the time you need, but you must write the first thing that comes to mind.
- You can only use a word once.
- Articles (‘a’, ‘the’, ‘I’, ‘my’, etc.) don’t count.
- After playing, you must invite a few slacker friends to play.
Either dig out your own copy of the game and steal the die or simply open a magazine and place your finger on a random letter. Business or job-related answers, right? (Or as much as is possible on a Friday).
Got your letter?
Ready, steady, go.
- Something you know a lot about….
- Name of someone you should call….
- Benefit of using your product or service….
- Keyword or phase you need to add to your website….
- A book title or topic you should read….
- Name of blog or blogger you should introduce yourself to….
- Something you could write a top 10 list about….
- Name of movie with an inspiring message for your job or business….
- Something you’re looking forward to doing while at work next week….
- Type of animal your business or job is most like….
- A thing or action your business or company could minimise to save money….
- An obstacle your business or company’s sales pitch has to overcome to persuade new buyers….
I’d love if you would post your answers! Now share this with friends looking for some T.G.I.F. diversion before the round hour of 5 o’clock hits.
A million girls would kill for THIS job
Greetings from the outside world! I’m writing this outside in the sunshine, there’s an apple + blackberry crumble in the oven and I couldn’t be happier (until the crumble’s in my tummy, then I’ll be much, much happier).
A great many of my friends are stuck inside, in office jobs they hate. They’re wasting their youth (their words, not mine!) to achieve X years of experience before they deem themselves capable of pursuing their real dreams.
Today’s my favourite kind of freelance day. It’s the ability to really enjoy life right now, summed up in the freedom to enjoy nice weather and take a baking break between tasks. It’s pure gold. It’s exactly why I jumped from (so-called) corporate safety at the age of 24 straight into risk, roller coasters and really hard work.
A lot of my clients and people I meet freelancing (online and off) are likewise happy bunnies. Many are small business owners doing what they love in the unlikeliest of places. Some are retired, some my age. We enjoy ridiculous highs and lows, but we’re each doing what we love and I think it shows.
Before my cliff-jump, I read a lot (a LOT) of small business and entrepreneur books. I mostly skipped the chapters about perseverance (I knew I had it), gunning straight for the “skills”: accounting, sales, web design…. Inevitably, not very long after opening shop, the need to keep going clashed violently with the flight instinct. “Holy mother of god! What am I doing?!!” was a common refrain while trying to sleep. It was scary out here. I remembered those sage words I’d barely read.
“Keep trying, then try harder” is a cliché, to be sure, but effort and long hours (the persistence I knew I had) is all that separates me from then and now. I think back to when I was climbing the walls of my cubicle-cage, knowing I belonged elsewhere. Out on my own, the highs are higher and the lows lower, yet they’re mine to solve.
Helping along the way, throughout all my sales and networking efforts, have been fellow freelancers, ‘solopreneurs’ and small business owners. Without fail I’ve found them to be the most generous and helpful of sorts – to a degree never found back in corporate land. Back there, HR departments have to set up official mentor schemes. Out here, people just help each other out.
Somewhere, a world away from my quiet patio table, suits are vying for promotions, accolades and recognition. Freelancers and small business owners can choose to define their success any number of ways, but the glorious afterglow of a black and white corporate victory might elude them. If we win a bid, we wonder about next month. If we crack Google, we wonder how long it will last.
Out here in the sunshine, I’m simply celebrating being here. For having the courage to jump in the first place and all the progress made since.
Does the same apply to you? Please, spend your weekend doing likewise – and don’t scrimp on the gin. Let me know about your victories – in whatever size they come.
The brochure’s back: tips & tricks for your best brochure
Today’s installment is quick, painless and bullet-pointed. Exactly what you need on a Monday morning.
Just get-’er-done, I say.
Tips
You can get your marketing jargon elsewhere: AIDA, calls to action, target audience, etc. You know all of that (Google it if you don’t).
Here are a few of my very own tips for creating brilliant brochures:
- These days, people are sensitive about wasting paper – could you move to a 1-page spec sheet? What about using only PDF e-brochures?
- Try to strike a balance between an impressive layout and providing useful info.
- Omit dates or sensitive info if printing in bulk – once out of date, you’re out of pocket.
- 1 great photo is better than 4 tiny thumbnails.
- Your company name is not a benefit – use your biggest headline to your best advantage.
- Check all your bullet point sentences start with the same case – upper or lower, not a mixture.
Tricks
A bit of homework’s coming your way. Research cap at the ready? As you consider either making or tweaking your company’s brochure, start a collection.
- While browsing the web, download every brochure you come across and stick them in a desktop folder.
- While oot and aboot (yes, Canadian accent in full swing), grab every pamphlet and brochure you see.
When you’ve got a nice fat stack, lay them out across your desk or kitchen table. Examine them as you fill 2 lists:
“Oh my god, what were they thinking, that’s so painfully awful.”
“Nicely done. I had never thought of that.”
Look at these things in particular:
- the text layout and spacing
- how headers are formatted
- the tone of voice – boring or worth reading?
- can you scan it?
- are the photos any good?
- what’s the paper quality or file size?
You’ll notice details and little horrors that had been hiding, before you’re a Brochure Guru. Let me know if you need help with the content. Remember, copywriting is using spicy little words to get exactly what you want.
Your website’s biggest enemy
Dinner with friends the other night and I was handed assignments. “Don’t forget your homework!” they teased as we later hopped in separate cabs heading home.
The panda cub sneezing and the one-man Jurassic Park topped the list. It was my weekly “you-gotta-watch-this” YouTube cross check & verify.
Were I an office drone, you can be damn sure I’d have watched these prizes between 9-5. My hypothetical scruples wouldn’t be the only ones in question:
According to study surveys, the average employee spends between one and two hours each day using the Internet for personal reasons.
13% percent of workers use the Internet for [personal reasons] at least two hours per day.
A 2005 CNN article cited “more than 10,000 respondents in the online survey admitted to wasting, on average, 2.09 hours per day.”
Clearly cyber-skiving in the working world – firewalls be damned – is a habit here to stay.
For the observant website owner and their diligent website copywriter, this presents 2 new rules of online copywriting conduct:
- Your web copy better be snappy: your website’s history as soon as Boss Man walks past.
- Your web copy better be more fun than a barrel of monkeys!!
Seriously. Meet Bored Office Drone (above) and his sad band of colleagues. This is where he does most of his non-life-threatening browsing. This is where your website stands the most chance of being dissected. For his attention, you’re competing with YouTube (the States’ 4th most popular website, Canada’s 5th & the UK’s 6th…with Crackbook floating omnipresent nearby).
Are we business owners missing something very basic here?
- Seemingly half of America is looking for a website to hold their attention for 2 hours a day.
- When you give someone an internet connection and a choice, they’d rather laugh at YouTube.
- Make someone laugh and they’ll show it to their friends.
- It will run riot across the internet so you don’t have to.
Back to the sneezing panda. Our friends had told us to watch it. They promised us it was good. So – peer pressure ever the trigger – we did as we were told.
Can your website compete? I’m going to do some digging and will suggest a few business websites that I think got the early message. Send any suggestions my way.
Is your customer service this good?
Not just a storage locker
I move a lot. It’s the textbook result of an expat childhood. When required, my various things are sent on their holidays to the storage facility nearby.
My recent call to book a storage locker – for the first time in 18 months – went like this:
“Hi, I need to book one of your lockers, please.”
“Sure!” He took down the starting date and we agreed on the size I’d need.
“Can I take your name?” I told him. It’s not an unusual name.
“Oh, hi! You’ve rented from us before!”
His reaction was instant. There is no way, no bloody way, he had time to type my name into a customer database. A remarkable memory a year and a half later.
It’s exactly why I love the ‘mom and pop’ experience. My call didn’t need to be monitored to ensure quality. It was quality.
Moving can be so tedious and awful and stressful. Storage facilities seem the unlikeliest place for kind-hearted interaction. Watching this company’s level of service more carefully when I arrived with my boxes, it was clear that’s exactly what they provide.
Consider why someone might need a storage locker: a lost job requiring a downsize, a death and unwanted inheritance, a new separation or divorce…. Any number of sad circumstances. Perhaps the storage company is exactly the place where a little bit of humanity goes most noticed.
It’s good to realise that the smallest detail of a service, the part that comes for free, is always the most appreciated. And, apparently, it doesn’t need to happen in person.
Could you remember customers of years past with only a name cue? The bar has been raised.
(Need storage in Vancouver? Call these guys.)
MailChimp email marketing: glowing review
Yesterday my email newsletter software asked me if I Jazzercised. I laughed out loud.
Computers can get boring. It’s easy to tire of work websites, whether or not you spend your life online. So let’s have some fun with it. Let’s reference ’80s power ballads and dated forms of cardio at every click. On this, MailChimp and I agree.
Do you use MailChimp for your email marketing? You should. Here’s why.
Free?
If your list has fewer than 100 subscribers, it’s free. Free! You get 600 free email credits per month. Let new or small business owners dance in the street – freeeeee! Once your email list grows above 100, reasonable pay-as-you-go plans are available. By then, you and the MailChimp monkey* will be old friends. Makes you all warm and squooshy inside.
* technically chimps are apes, but they call him a monkey. I’m all for alliteration over science.
Templates?
MailChimp comes with a handful of layouts for your email blasts and stock photography galore. If you happen to have a web design guru hidden in your back cupboard, he or she can build a flashy custom layout. The rest of us can either design headers within the programme or upload our own in a flash of “here’s-something-I-made-earlier” glory.
Branding?
Play the matching game: make the entire process (sign up screens, confirmation emails and newsletters) look exactly like your website – no technical prowess required. It’s just like a paint-by-number kit.
Different lists?
Keep different lists for newsletter subscribers, clients, past clients…your Christmas card list…
Schedule send-out?
Whether your copywriter submits your final newsletter copy ahead of schedule (mais, bien sûr) or you’re a very organised sort, you can schedule your newsletter’s send date and time – and forget about it.
Tracking?
Get your stalker on and easily learn how many people open your newsletters, how many forward or click through to your website.
Standards?
Afraid of inadvertantly spamming someone? Good luck. The system is wholly compliant with every U.S. spam safeguard:
- Users who subscribe must first confirm by email.
- Every email sent must include your name and address.
- Addresses inputted manually require your guarantee: “Yes, I have their permission”.
- The subscriber’s IP address and time of subscription is logged, in case future proof is ever needed.
After spending an enjoyable half hour in the company of the MailChimp primate, you’ll surface for a well-earned break and he’ll ask something very dashing and complimentary:
“Have you been working out?”
“You’re good at this! Have you done this before?”
*Blush* True love blooms.
These are my socks. Sparkly white. Now please knock them off.
Seriously.
Seriously?
Disbelieving expletives, said aloud when businesses disappoint.
You can say it one of two ways – deadpan with one eyebrow raised or higher pitched, eyes wide with dismay.
You expect me to be happy with that?
Is that the best you can do?
I tried to plan a small holiday this weekend. I found a cottage online that, at first glance, seemed that it would satisfy my impossible family.
Email inquiry:
Could you send us any more details please? Info regarding destinations within walking distance would be much appreciated.
Response:
You can find out more, check availability and book online at <<website>>. A 30% deposit is required on booking,Just follow the Book Online link and select your required dates.
Say it with me! Seriously?
(Biting lip and ignoring butchered English). The website doesn’t have the info I want, that’s why I emailed. And I definitely didn’t ask, “Hey, how do I give you some money right now”. I want to be your customer, but you need to impress me first. My socks, think of my socks!
Seriously.
The proprietor’s obviously busy – no blame laid there. A long email written to someone only casually interested might not seem worthwhile. Buuut…she lost me. I’m not being a whinging pom, promise, this happens a lot across all sorts of businesses.
It’s very convenient for a copywriter to have these frustrations, isn’t it? I’m about to come out and say, “if only she’d had a …a brochure!”
Well! That’s all it would have taken. No other property – nobody – has had such a thing available after epic Google quests. I’m only trying to make sure my family doesn’t kill each other – without nearby diversion it’s a high probability.
Does anyone have a happy story – from a consumer’s point of view – of a business that gets it? Fire at leisure, I’ll just be sitting here with my high expectations. Waiting. Ready to be impressed.
Read 5 more reasons why you need an online brochure.
Home Alone: 12 steps to a better website, screams and all (Part III)
My last installment of Home Alone’s twelve-step programme for your better website.
9. You know where you’re meant to be – so get going
“I don’t care if I have to get out on your runway and hitchhike.”
It takes time to reach your Google targets and to enjoy self-sustaining traffic. Keep trying. Every day. Go out of your depth. Remain open to a new route. Vicious dedication will cut it where your competitors fail. You’ll get there before you know it.
10. Jump on the bed
Set goals and celebrate them. Keep a list tacked somewhere obvious. Following Macauley’s example, for so many hits in one month you get ice cream in bed. For so many newsletter subscribers you get a large cheese pizza. Make a list of where you will be, number by number, on Google’s results for your keywords each month. Big prizes await.
“You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?”
11. You can do a lot in a week – surprise yourself
“I don’t know how to pack a suit case. I’ve never done this once in my whole life.”
After a week alone, brave Macauley surprised everyone. He’d developed skills nobody thought possible. What extraordinary things could you accomplish in the next week? Consider your “I’ll do it sooner or later” site update list. Ponder your competition’s greatest edge. Go on a rampage of skill acquisition.
12. In 7 days’ time, shout the following from a rooftop:
“Hey, I’m not afraid any more! I said I’m not afraid any more! Do you hear me? I’m not afraid any more!”
Previous posts: Part 1 and Part 2
Home Alone: 12 steps to a better website, screams and all (Part II)
Want to improve your website? Make it a better website for customer service? Read on for Part II of my Home Alone redux – as the film applies to a website owner.
5. Checking things twice
“Five boys, six girls, four parents, two drivers, and a partridge in a pear tree.”
A simple counting exercise gone so horribly wrong. Home Alone teaches that the biggest mistakes will be the most obvious things. The things that didn’t need checking.
Read any and all new content from multiple angles: once or twice for grammar, once for punctuation, once to delete clichés (yuck!) and awkward phrases. Then read it yet again for clarity, making sure time-starved visitors can easily scan it. Finally, flag any dates or seasonal information so you’ll know to update it later. Think you’re finished? Negative. Hand it to a friend or family member for a final check.
6. Try new things
“I took a shower washing every body part with actual soap; including all my major crevices…”
When your site is your sustenance, its constant growth is vital – not simply what you do with any luxury “spare time”. You must try new things. Which of the Internet’s many crevices have you been meaning to explore? Could some basic CSS skills add new life? Have you planned a vast resource section that hasn’t yet made its online debut? It might sting at first (witness Macauley’s scream), but you’ll look so dapper.
7. Who’s tip-toeing past your door?
No, not burglars. Just casual people doing some research. They’re not potential customers yet, but they might be. Ensure that A) you entice them back and B) you build enough trust that they’ll ring the doorbell and identify themselves on their next visit. Some people prize their anonymity online: your tone throughout must be one of reaching out in friendship and genuine helpfulness, not towards their money. A helpful blog feed or e-newsletter are good baby steps.
8. Use the scary things to your advantage
“The 3rd floor? It’s scary up there.”
Through a harrowing week, our little Macauley faced down a tarantula, a talking furnace, old man Harvey…and the third floor. Tackling one at a time, each was used to great success against the baddies.
What ‘scary’ technology are you avoiding because it’s hard to learn or will be a total headache? Could your blog be prettier? Is it time for a merchant account? What about CAPTCHA or SSL certificates? Spend some time learning. You’ll soon have another weapon in your baddie-fighting arsenal.
Related posts: Part 1 & Part 3