3AM. Car alarm outside. What do you do?
3AM. A car alarm goes off on your street. It’s not your car.
Do you:
A) Roll your eyes, grit your teeth, wait for it to finish
B) Think nasty things about the idiot who trips his own alarm
C) Consider calling the police – there’s clearly a crime taking place
My guess is A and B – rarely, if ever, C.
The false alarms and the made-you-looks far outweigh the unfortunate events requiring actual action. Sick of feeling like a fool, they’re just something else to tune out and ignore. The car alarm has lost its voice.
What else is sounding off, day and night, in your life? Dozens of email newsletters. Do they make any difference to your life or are you growing deaf from white noise? Chances are, they’re not worth listening to.
Where once these marketing pieces held popular attention, it’s unlikely that today you feel inclined to take any action at all.
5 representative emails – from companies I know and like – waiting for me, unread:
- New [Service], New Savings!
- [Company] May 2009 newsletter
- [Type of] Holidays – Summer Season Discounts
- May 2009 [Company] Newsletter
- [Company] Sale – 2 days only!
Delete, delete, delete, delete, delete.
Imagine now that you’re jolted from a dead sleep by a megaphone:
“Call the police! Someone’s stealing my car! It’s a silver Chevy! Quick!”
Now that would stand out. You’d at least think twice. And you’d probably bring it up in conversation the next morning.
Next month you come to write your newsletter’s headline – listen to this (seriously, click it).
SCREECH SCREECH SCREECH SCREECH
It sounds defeaning to you, the car owner.
This is our message!
This is our news!
This is everything that’s going to fix your problem and make your life better!
It’s not. No one’s going to listen. We’ve become inured. Every other newsletter headline on earth sounds just like yours.
Make sure we listen! Fix your newsletter headline.
***
Make your marketing copy more lovable than a White House pup. Learn a few more tasty tricks while you’re here:
- Set sail for awesomeness: why you need new website content
- Why I should write your Christmas letter
- 90s week: What the 90s taught us about copywriting | Day 1
Be a winner! Your email newsletter done right.
You’ve got a helpful, informative email newsletter that you publish regularly? Well done, you’re in the Winners’ Circle of Online Marketing Done Right. It’s elite territory.
Just 1 question – how long does it take an interested reader to subscribe?
- nanoseconds or less?
- An email address only – and an optional first name?
Depending whether you just shifted your feet and averted your gaze… your club membership might be temporarily revoked. Yep, no messing around! I mean it.
Email subscribers are offering you their time and trust, in order for you to make their lives easier.
Never the other way around.
Sucky sign-up forms with ridiculous security checks: I’m watching you.
Textbook stuff! “Features vs. benefits”
This was the email I got last month from a top holiday destination. It’s a very lush place. James Bond would stay here.
Spring promotion! High Season rates are applicable instead of Peak Season Rates.
Ohhh, dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Fail!
I hate marketing jargon – hate it! – so let’s dissect this email as real people. High season…not prime reason. Riiiight.
So if I’m not put off by the sub-text (“Yep! We’re still charging top dollar – fancy being gouged?”), I’d have to do the following:
- Look up their website
- Find the rates page
- Write down the applicable figures
- Find my calculator
- Do some math (and I hate math in the morning)
- Work out the savings
- Ask myself “can I afford this?”
(It took 3 minutes, 3 seconds…the rates page was nicely hidden).
Lucky me, working to unearth a supposed benefit.
Was this a Christmas morning pressie? No.
Did it make me look forward to the possibility of a holiday?
…No.
If you’re offering clients or customers a deal, a special offer or a benefit (!), word it as such.
Wrap it up properly. Throw a handwritten card on top. Drape diamonds from it. Then tease a little bit before you jump out, “surprise! Look what I’ve got for you!” Make it feel like a benefit. (And don’t forget the cake).
I’d re-write the email along the following lines:
Stay with us during our spring promotion and save enough to indulge in a few holiday extras! Perhaps a spa day or private sunset cruise? We’d be happy to arrange either. Our current offers are 22% below the normal rate, meaning there’ll be plenty left in your bank account on your blissed-out return. This rate applies through [date], so email us [here] to let us know when you’re coming. We’re chilling the champagne already.
One of these emails is not like the other.
One leaves my face scrunched in annoyance, the other conjures up my holiday, on a yacht, champagne in hand. Cheesy, yes, but I’ve seen it and I don’t want to give it up.
Benefits! Use them!
Related post:
Sold! To the only website properly bidding
MailChimp email marketing: glowing review
Yesterday my email newsletter software asked me if I Jazzercised. I laughed out loud.
Computers can get boring. It’s easy to tire of work websites, whether or not you spend your life online. So let’s have some fun with it. Let’s reference ’80s power ballads and dated forms of cardio at every click. On this, MailChimp and I agree.
Do you use MailChimp for your email marketing? You should. Here’s why.
Free?
If your list has fewer than 100 subscribers, it’s free. Free! You get 600 free email credits per month. Let new or small business owners dance in the street – freeeeee! Once your email list grows above 100, reasonable pay-as-you-go plans are available. By then, you and the MailChimp monkey* will be old friends. Makes you all warm and squooshy inside.
* technically chimps are apes, but they call him a monkey. I’m all for alliteration over science.
Templates?
MailChimp comes with a handful of layouts for your email blasts and stock photography galore. If you happen to have a web design guru hidden in your back cupboard, he or she can build a flashy custom layout. The rest of us can either design headers within the programme or upload our own in a flash of “here’s-something-I-made-earlier” glory.
Branding?
Play the matching game: make the entire process (sign up screens, confirmation emails and newsletters) look exactly like your website – no technical prowess required. It’s just like a paint-by-number kit.
Different lists?
Keep different lists for newsletter subscribers, clients, past clients…your Christmas card list…
Schedule send-out?
Whether your copywriter submits your final newsletter copy ahead of schedule (mais, bien sûr) or you’re a very organised sort, you can schedule your newsletter’s send date and time – and forget about it.
Tracking?
Get your stalker on and easily learn how many people open your newsletters, how many forward or click through to your website.
Standards?
Afraid of inadvertantly spamming someone? Good luck. The system is wholly compliant with every U.S. spam safeguard:
- Users who subscribe must first confirm by email.
- Every email sent must include your name and address.
- Addresses inputted manually require your guarantee: “Yes, I have their permission”.
- The subscriber’s IP address and time of subscription is logged, in case future proof is ever needed.
After spending an enjoyable half hour in the company of the MailChimp primate, you’ll surface for a well-earned break and he’ll ask something very dashing and complimentary:
“Have you been working out?”
“You’re good at this! Have you done this before?”
*Blush* True love blooms.