Fresh from the bowels of Wikipedia – Ronald Reagan has yet another bizarre credit to his name, proving presidency wasn’t his life’s biggest surprise turn. Go figure.

He’s the reason North Americans load their printers with the stubby stuff, 8.5″ X 11″, while the leaner global population sticks to A4.

Yes, really! The man, the legend, the letter sized paper.

So do a quick recce of your PDFs. Treachery lurks!

Do you send PDF literature between North America & the rest of the world?

Send your recipient a PDF paper type formatted to their printer. They probably won’t notice that you made the effort, which is even better. The annoying margin errors are what they’d find irritating. So ensure you’ve got 2 versions of each: one for the world and one for Reagan’s memory.

 

As for his extracurricular decrees – the answer to your “wtf” is ably summed up here.

Michael explains:

With the dawn of the computer age and proliferation of photocopiers, the government standard to that date was set by Herbert Hoover in the 1920’s.  The standard had been 8″ x 10.5″, which is still used in notebooks today.  Since copiers weren’t made to handle that size paper, the decision arrived at Reagan’s desk.

And, quoting wholly out of context – here’s your answer:

“They counted on America to be passive. They counted wrong.”

Ronald Reagan

Tags: brochure, marketing materials, oops, Reagan

 

Are you in the habit of researching good vs. bad brochures? There’s dangerous room for error. The tacky pamphlet is out and, according to Bill Bryson’s words of 14 years ago – it’s been out.

“[I] eventually ended up at the tourist office, feeling mildly lost and far from home. I wasn’t quite sure what I was doing here. I looked through rack of leaflets for shire horse centres, petting zoos, falconry centres, miniature pony centres, model railways, butterfly farms, and something called – I jest not, I regret to say – Twiggy Winkie’s Farm and Hedgehog Hospital, none of which seemed to address my leisure requirements.

Nearly all the leaflets were depressingly illiterate, particularly with regard to punctuation – I sometimes think that if I see one more tourist leaflet that says “Englands Best” or “Britains Largest,” I will go and torch the place – and they all seemed so pathetically modest in what they had to offer.

Nearly all of them padded out their lists of featured attractions with things like “Free Car Park,” “Gift Shop and Tearoom,” and the inevitable “Adventure Playground” (and then were witless enough to show you in the photograph that it was just a climbing frame and a couple of plastic animals on springs). Who goes to these places? I couldn’t say, I’m sure”.

Bill Bryson, Notes From A Small Island, Doubleday 1995

We’re all going on a summer holiday? No thanks.

Read a few sleuthing tips on how to unearth your better brochure.

(And don’t forget to send me your illiterate bingo victories as they occur).

Tags: bad grammar, brochure, features vs. benefits, marketing materials

Ever tried really hard to spend someone else’s money? It’s not as easy as it sounds. Might someone in that position be visiting your company’s website right now? It’s more than possible.

In a past life I was a proposal writer for a corporate events and conference company. The finished products were lavish, worldwide affairs, produced long after I’d chewed my nails to the quick. No expense spared.

Getting in the way of my proposal writing? Research. P-a-i-n-f-u-l-l-y extracting info from would-be suppliers about their products.

Whether the event was held in Denver or Dubai, it was my job to unearth the destination’s myriad possibilities: whatever ridiculous experience money could or couldn’t buy.

1. Setting sail

Me = square one, lots of someone else’s money to spend
Google = my trusty navigator and best friend

Broad searches to begin with:

Orlando bus company
Montreal spa
Bahamian restaurant with view
Edinburgh t-shirt supplier

2. Land ho?

From these potential venues and suppliers I needed basic info. Seating capacities, menus, floor plans, an imaginative range of options.

9 times out of 10, the details weren’t there.

Whether they were big town, big company or small town, small company the result was so often wasted time, a poor first impression and a frustrated customer trying hard to spend lots of someone else’s money. (Did I mention lotsa money?!)

I got really good at Solitaire. A dead ace. It’s not that I wasn’t busy. I was stuck – left at the mercy of nonchalant suppliers – waiting to receive information about their products or services.

 

3. Desert island, no signs of life

“We’ll force you to contact us”
Withholding key details on a company’s brochure website is a common tactic. The hope is that a forced phone call will enable time to give the schpiel and add a prospect’s details to the “warm” list. Square peg round hole! A venue or service is only going to work for a customer if it works. Schpiel be damned.

Busy sales reps with irregular email access
Sales people are busy. They’re rarely at their desks. This doesn’t work for impatient prospects who need to know if your product or service suits their needs now.

*gnashes teeth*
*gnaws on knuckles* *stifles scream*

I’ve been there. I’ve been that frustrated (sometimes livid) would-be-if-I-could-be client.

 

4. Marooned

I spent most days on hold, leaving follow-up voicemails and repeating information requests until I was blue. Jack Bauer’s interrogation services would have been appreciated.

 

5. Full speed ahead – see ya

Your website needs to do all your bidding. The poor prospect is simply trying to do his or her job and research at the speed of light. We web visitors don’t have time to play hide and seek. No time!!! The love will always go to the website that provides it NOW. We don’t care how cheery your phone demeanour.

 

6. Siren song

So much good business can come your way from prospects who find you through Google. You didn’t know they were out there and they hadn’t heard of you either. Let it be love at first sight.

 

If you make it easy. If you provide all the answers. If you leave every necessary detail for them, available on a silver plate, then they’ll come calling and they’ll arrive happy.

• Got a Google search feature? They’re free and easy to install.
• What about the 5-star frilly bits? Does your website make sure to tell me all the many ways I’ll enjoy what you’re offering?
• How’s your online brochure looking? Let me know if it needs an update.

Put in the effort: so few websites do.

 

Related posts:

Home Alone: 12 steps to a better website, screams and all (Part I)

These are my socks. Sparkly white. Now please knock them off.

Tags: brochure, web content, winning customer service

Today’s installment is quick, painless and bullet-pointed. Exactly what you need on a Monday morning.

Just get-’er-done, I say.

 

Tips

You can get your marketing jargon elsewhere: AIDA, calls to action, target audience, etc. You know all of that (Google it if you don’t).

Here are a few of my very own tips for creating brilliant brochures:

• These days, people are sensitive about wasting paper – could you move to a 1-page spec sheet? What about using only PDF e-brochures?
• Try to strike a balance between an impressive layout and providing useful info.
• Omit dates or sensitive info if printing in bulk – once out of date, you’re out of pocket.
• 1 great photo is better than 4 tiny thumbnails.
• Your company name is not a benefit – use your biggest headline to your best advantage.
• Check all your bullet point sentences start with the same case – upper or lower, not a mixture.

Tricks

A bit of homework’s coming your way. Research cap at the ready? As you consider either making or tweaking your company’s brochure, start a collection. 

• While browsing the web, download every brochure you come across and stick them in a desktop folder.
• While oot and aboot (yes, Canadian accent in full swing), grab every pamphlet and brochure you see. 

 

When you’ve got a nice fat stack, lay them out across your desk or kitchen table. Examine them as you fill 2 lists:

“Oh my god, what were they thinking, that’s so painfully awful.”

“Nicely done. I had never thought of that.”

Look at these things in particular:

• the text layout and spacing
• how headers are formatted
• the tone of voice – boring or worth reading?
• can you scan it?
• are the photos any good?
• what’s the paper quality or file size?

 

You’ll notice details and little horrors that had been hiding, before you’re a Brochure Guru. Let me know if you need help with the content. Remember, copywriting is using spicy little words to get exactly what you want.

Tags: brochure, marketing materials, small business, tricks

Seriously.

Seriously?

Disbelieving expletives, said aloud when businesses disappoint.

You can say it one of two ways – deadpan with one eyebrow raised or higher pitched, eyes wide with dismay.

You expect me to be happy with that?
Is that the best you can do?

I tried to plan a small holiday this weekend. I found a cottage online that, at first glance, seemed that it would satisfy my impossible family.

Email inquiry:

Could you send us any more details please? Info regarding destinations within walking distance would be much appreciated.

Response:

You can find out more, check availability and book online at <<website>>. A 30% deposit is required on booking,Just follow the Book Online link and select your required dates.

Say it with me! Seriously?

(Biting lip and ignoring butchered English). The website doesn’t have the info I want, that’s why I emailed. And I definitely didn’t ask, “Hey, how do I give you some money right now”. I want to be your customer, but you need to impress me first. My socks, think of my socks!

Seriously.

The proprietor’s obviously busy – no blame laid there. A long email written to someone only casually interested might not seem worthwhile. Buuut…she lost me. I’m not being a whinging pom, promise, this happens a lot across all sorts of businesses.

It’s very convenient for a copywriter to have these frustrations, isn’t it? I’m about to come out and say, “if only she’d had a …a brochure!”

Well! That’s all it would have taken. No other property – nobody – has had such a thing available after epic Google quests. I’m only trying to make sure my family doesn’t kill each other – without nearby diversion it’s a high probability.

Does anyone have a happy story – from a consumer’s point of view – of a business that gets it? Fire at leisure, I’ll just be sitting here with my high expectations. Waiting. Ready to be impressed.

 

Read 5 more reasons why you need an online brochure.

Tags: bad customer service, brochure, credibility, small business

1. All marketing materials look different - different fonts, sizes, colours…

2. Paragraphs are used in favour of tables or bulleted lists

3. Any piece uses (in order of awfulness):

• grainy photos
• bad scans
• clip art
• horror of all horrors- Microsoft Word Art 

4. When requested, it takes more than 2 seconds to email an info packet by response.

5. It’s been years since a professional got their hands on your goodies. (Your marketing goodies, that is).

6. You find yourself answering the same 10 questions by phone all day, every day.

7. Your info pack or website takes 10 pages to say what you could in just 1.

8. A total overhaul is in order – and you haven’t the time to do it justice.

9. Copying and pasting sums up your computer expertise – and design software is not a worthwhile expense.

10. You’d never consider hiring a marketing or design firm

• too expensive
• too trendy
• too much jargon

11. You would use any of the following words to describe your brochure or website

• quaint
• homey
• charming

12. And, most importantly, if they haven’t been touched since Bush was in office. Times are changing; celebrate and treat yourself!

Tags: branding image, brochure, marketing materials